Resources
Meet Your 'Parts'
Self: is not limited to, but rather helpfully identified in whats known as the '8 C's of self' of compassion, confidence, clarity, calm, courage, creativity,curiosity and care. Imporantly 'self' is not a part, but is the essence of you before the protectors and exiles formed.
Protectors:
Are parts that have adapted to keep you from feeling the unbearable pain that the exiles hold for you. They do this in two main categories:
Firefighters: Are well-intentioned protectors but often create harm by trying to extinguish the feared and predicted overwhelming pain of our exiles with quick, impulsive or numbing behaviours. Examples: self-harm, suicidal thoughts, addiction, dissociation, overworking, acting out, recklessnes behaviour, over-eating, gambling to name a few.
Managers: Are also well-intentioned and want the most harmonious outcomes for the system, from their responses. they might for Example look like: people pleasing, perfectionism, inner criticism, excessive planning and control, hypervigilance, intellectualism, caregiving, self-sabotage, withdrawing/hiding, procrastinating, being 'busy'.
Exiles: hold all the pain and memories, and have been exiled from the system with the belief that to cope you mustn't feel the pain for fear it will overwhelm you. In IFS therapy we often have to go through meeting, understanding and befriending the protectors to earn their trust enough to get to know the exiles, and unburden their pain.
What your 'Parts' Might Say
When we get to know our parts, we get to know their roles and the pain they are protecting us from. In IFS therapy we are looking to build trust, compassion, understanding and rapport with our parts so they begin to trust again in our 'Self'. In order to bring harmony, healing and so we can free up our parts to do what they have always wanted for you/them, to play, be free, have fun, and enjoy life.
